Mess ups with God's grace

I think that is one of the scariest things for me going into ministry is realizing that students are going to learn more from me when I screw up and have to turn to God, and how I deal with my failures then when I am leading a bible study that I am prepared for. The girls will be watching when Tom does something that frustrates me and will see when I act out of my own selfishness or when it's out of love. And the times I screw up, I have to let them see me be corrected. That is scary.

When I look back on my college experience there was a girl with a college ministry and she did make some mistakes when it comes to advising me. Some choices she made were made from her desires and not what God was advising. But I cannot be angry with her because I see how God used that. He had given me the answer and yet I still went to her seeking advice. I had to trust Him even though she had told me to handle a situation differently. And since I was doing it because He told me and not her it made the hard stuff after easier to handle because I know it was what God had led me to.

My college ministry experience wasn't bad but there were mistakes made but looking back I see how they were necessary because they are a part of my decision to do college ministry and to do it in the form we do. There are so many forms of ministry and different ones work for different people.

I have mentioned before that we are blessed by the Crusade ministry on our campus. We know the leaders and we know their hearts for God and we are so excited and encouraged to see their ministry. They have hundreds of people show up every week. We could be discouraged since our ministry ranges anywhere from 15-30 but we are not because we realize God is present in both these ministries and doing different things in each. So as you pray for us please pray for the other college ministries on campus. Not only is there Crusade but also Intervarsity and Chinese Christian Fellowship. There is also a Christian woman sorority. There might me more than that too.

So one of the scariest prayers I have had is that God use to me to love His children here, that when I get it right and when I screw it up that His hand be over it. If my mistake will lead someone to more growth and trust in God then so be it. And I continue to thank God for the people in my life who knowingly and unknowingly brought me closer to Him.