January Smanuary

Currently I am sitting in a Starbucks down in the LA area, waiting for my second womans retreat this month to get started. January has flown by but there have been some awesome things happening.

Last weekend I joined my mom and her church in Monterey for a women's retreat. It was fun just hanging out with her and relaxing. This weekend it's with the Navigators which won't be as relaxing but I'm sure it will be fun.

We are already bout halfway for the Winter quarter. Students are finishing up on midterms and I can't believe how fast it's gone. I have started meeting with Deb (Nav staff) and two students at different times throughout the week. Right now I'm observing Deb but eventually she wants me to slowly start taking over with these girls. They are both such cool women, I'm really excited. One is a Junior and the other is a Freshman and they both have awesome hearts. I just meet the Freshman and it was so reminiscent of my time in college, the struggles she is going through and the desires of her heart.

Leah (Nav edger) and I also started a girls bible study on Thursday nights. For most of the girls they have class and have been unable to come to the weekly Gathering. We started asking what day would work and we were amazed when they all responded with Thursday night. We jumped on it and last night Leah led the second meeting. I unfortunately couldn't be there since Tom and I had to be down in LA for some first year Navigator training.

This quarter has been immensely busy and I'm still trying to determine what are the things to keep and the things that can be dropped from my schedule. Next month we have a conference called the Truth conference and so far have had a decent sign up. Getting some girls to go which I'm really excited to get to know them more and for them to get to know each other as well.

There has also been lots of discussions for our summer plans with staff. We are still undecided but we are getting closer. Our campus Director Mark is leading a 5 week trip to New Zealand. It's an interesting place and for him, he sees it as a place for us to really learn and share ideas. Many are saying New Zealand is what America will be soon. A very small Christian population that has a very hard time reaching people. The people are generally apathetic toward religions and churches are small and few. It's an exciting door Mark is hoping to open with the long term view. Mark and his wife Barb are going in March for a week to get a better idea of what this summer would look like and if their family could go for the whole time or maybe part.

The weddings are starting to pile up for this fall as well. We already have 4, only one with a set date so we have our fingers crossed that none overlap as they are all close friends and would hate to miss any of them. We are at that age where our lives are filled with weddings and pregnancies. We have two friends both due on the same day in July, I'm so excited for them, how fun to be in the same stages together! Our close friends Mike and Merry's little girl Joy is growing up so quick, she is 7 months and already has two teeth! We are blessed to be her godparents and we love getting to see her and watch her grow up. My cousin Melanie's little boy is closing in on two months! It seems like she was just pregnant yesterday! And she is such a wonderful and happy mother. Their family is adorable! I'm just so excited for our friends, such a neat time right now and I love getting to be a part of it with them!

Girls Night

Our Tuesday night Gathering continues to be more and more male. The girls in our group have unfortunately been needing to take classes that time or work. Some of the girls involved with Navs have been pretty busy and overcommitted and for some reason Tuesday is a hard night to make. We had talked last semester about starting a girls group, not only in hopes of picking a better night but for building community.

The guys all play disc golf, many bike so there are many common interests and they have really been bonding. It has been awesome, God is good! But the girls seem to have been getting lost among the boys. We decided to start seeing if there was an interest and so far everyone we have talked to has been excited and Thursday night seems to really work well. So keep this in your prayers, we don't want to do anything unless God is leading it. I'm definitely hopeful and excited, I really look forward to getting to know the Nav women more.

Also keep me in your prayers, the next two weekends I have women's retreats (one with a church, one with Sunland Nav staff) which I know are going to be so fun but I also know those things really wear me out. It's also weird but now, even if I am home, when I am not with Tom I am homesick. It's so weird. The things that change when you are married are definitely not what you expect.

Oh and it rained all day today (no flooding in our new place!) and we are suppose to have rain the next few days, I am so excited. There is just something about rain. I wish we had more wood for the fireplace, might have to go out and find some. Haven't had a real shopping trip in a few weeks. My parents help out with groceries which is awesome but also means I have to drive to Cambria. Since my grandparents do it weekly I have been going with them but that also includes lunch. It has been great having that time with them but it does take up a lot of the day. My grandma just cracks me up, I have always loved spending time with her, I'm so blessed they have always been close by.

Part of our training for Navigators is reading through the bible in a year (started middle of last year). It has been cool reading parts of the bible I was unfamiliar with and finding really sweet passages. I'm currently in Isaiah and here is a verse I came across the other day and really liked

Isaiah 26:8 (NASB) "Indeed, while following the way of Your judgements, O Lord, we have waited for You eagerly; Your name, even Your memory, is the desire of our souls."

A letter to my cousin

My cousin sent me a message asking about the first Gathering this quarter and figured it would be a good update on here too, so this is just cut and pasted from my response to her. Sorry for my laziness but it works :)

The first Gathering went pretty well. It was a bit smaller since it was the first week back that's not to uncommon with everyone adjusting to their new schedules. We did have two new people, one is a guy, who in his own words was walking away from God until a week ago and God presented Himself in a way that can't be ignored. He had some contact with Mark (our campus director) already and he is really excited to have us as a community since Satan is definitely attacking this choice. This one girl had asked me if we could hang out sometime so we have been trying to find a time which has been hard but I'm excited that she is really open to it. It was a bit disjointed, Mark's strong suit is big picture and not so much details which has been difficult for me since I am totally into details and recently in a job where that was a huge part of it. So today we were meeting with Mark and Barb (his wife) and they asked me to pray about taking over administrative stuff for the Navs. It was something I had been thinking about but was unsure how to bring up so I am still praying about it but I'm already getting excited. Especially last semester it was hard because I felt like I didn't have anything to bring to the table and felt non purposeful. Right now we are in the midst of training and I really didn't feel like any of my talents were being used. I know this semester has a lot of traveling still but I am excited to start doing some things that I can feel like I am contributing more. It will make the things I cannot contribute to yet be easier to handle. So be praying that next week more students will be able to come, if it's God's will that their schedules work out. That we continue to get to know the the students. That the guy who just turned back to God that the people in his life help him to know God more even if it's not easy. Also as staff we are trying to figure out what we will be doing this summer. Mark is taking a group to New Zealand and due to a wedding if we were able to go at all it would be late. There are some other ministry possibilities both local and in other countries so we are not sure where God wants to take us for that. So prayers for our decisions and also students thinking about joining the New Zealand trip.

Mess ups with God's grace

I think that is one of the scariest things for me going into ministry is realizing that students are going to learn more from me when I screw up and have to turn to God, and how I deal with my failures then when I am leading a bible study that I am prepared for. The girls will be watching when Tom does something that frustrates me and will see when I act out of my own selfishness or when it's out of love. And the times I screw up, I have to let them see me be corrected. That is scary.

When I look back on my college experience there was a girl with a college ministry and she did make some mistakes when it comes to advising me. Some choices she made were made from her desires and not what God was advising. But I cannot be angry with her because I see how God used that. He had given me the answer and yet I still went to her seeking advice. I had to trust Him even though she had told me to handle a situation differently. And since I was doing it because He told me and not her it made the hard stuff after easier to handle because I know it was what God had led me to.

My college ministry experience wasn't bad but there were mistakes made but looking back I see how they were necessary because they are a part of my decision to do college ministry and to do it in the form we do. There are so many forms of ministry and different ones work for different people.

I have mentioned before that we are blessed by the Crusade ministry on our campus. We know the leaders and we know their hearts for God and we are so excited and encouraged to see their ministry. They have hundreds of people show up every week. We could be discouraged since our ministry ranges anywhere from 15-30 but we are not because we realize God is present in both these ministries and doing different things in each. So as you pray for us please pray for the other college ministries on campus. Not only is there Crusade but also Intervarsity and Chinese Christian Fellowship. There is also a Christian woman sorority. There might me more than that too.

So one of the scariest prayers I have had is that God use to me to love His children here, that when I get it right and when I screw it up that His hand be over it. If my mistake will lead someone to more growth and trust in God then so be it. And I continue to thank God for the people in my life who knowingly and unknowingly brought me closer to Him.

Cal Poly up and running

Cal Poly started back up yesterday and tonight our Gathering starts back up. The Gathering is our weekly meeting with students. A local doctor and his family weekly open their home and living room to us. Someone brings a meal and we all eat together and catch up. After that if someone brought a guitar we sing some songs but if not then we jump right into our discussion. This year we have been reading through John. For those of us who have read it before we are challenged to see it as if we never have before. This can be tough but it's really cool to discuss things. Also there are things you just assume you understand and it's been amazing to really talk about things.

The blessing of serving Navs on the Cal Poly campus is Campus Crusade has the largest ministry in the nation at Poly. Which means Christians have a place to go and we have the blessing to focus on non Christians. Not to say we don't have Christians, we do. But we ask a lot of them, the Christians in our groups are called to be leaders. To forget the Sunday school, comfortable answers, sometimes just being silent and hearing their non Christian peers. We request that they live with non Christians. Because if we as Christians only live with Christians how we ever impact others lives?

I feel like Christmas break flew by, being sick didn't help. I hope I am prepared for this next quarter. When we started the Navs we didn't know our training would require so much traveling so it has been hard to get traction with the girls. Also most of the girls have already been meeting with the other staff for awhile. There is one new girl student and she use to be in Tom's High School ministry, she is so awesome and I am so glad I have been getting to know her. She has an amazing heart and has really enjoyed getting involved with our Nav group.

Pray for the students and us as this quarter starts. Pray for me that in the midst of all my studying and training that I find time to get to know the girls better. That Tom's relationships with the guys continue to grow and that our entire staff continues to grow together and seek God.

We are reading a book called Encouragement by Dan B. Allender and Larry Crabb and it discusses what our role as Christians is. One of the quotes is "... comfort is not my goal. God's will is" (pg. 77). It's referring specifically to difficult conversations we have with others. When it's not easy to encourage or rebuke someone else or to share our own experiences and failures. Man I want that to be true in my life! But it's scary too. I like being comfortable but we are to love others more than ourselves.

God help me love You and others more than my own comfort.

0.... 10

I cannot believe it's 2010 already, it's weird to say too. Before I would say 09 but it seems odd, though not incorrect, to say 010. But anyway today I was folding laundry in the bedroom, I grabbed one of Tom's shirts and shook it hard to get all the creases out and what not. Then Lupin (my cat) sat up and was staring at the wall behind me with his scaredy cat face. I teased him and thought it was odd since I had been shaking out shirts and it hadn't bothered him till now. I figured it must have been a reflection on the wall so I turned to see what was bugging him and there it was



yep, my sock. Maybe next time I won't forge the dryer sheet.

Thoughts/Reflections from my TAWG (Time Alone with God):

Part of our Navigator training is to learn the Topical Memory System (TMS). It's about 60 Bible verses that are good verses to start on for memorizing. It's been a challenge for me but I have enjoyed it too. Today I was going over some of the ones I have already learned and I came across a verse that was not part of the TMS but I decided to learn because I liked it so much and Tom and I have discussed a lot with each other and others when we talk about our lives and ministry.

Acts 4:13 (NASB)
Now as they observed confidence of Peter and John and understood that they were uneducated and untrained men, they were amazed, and began to recognize them as having been with Jesus.

I love this verse because Peter and John had confidence but it wasn't by their own works, they were not better trained or had higher educated then other men. The difference between them and anyone else was they had been with Jesus. Peter and John had confidence because it flowed out from them knowing Jesus intimately, spending time with Him as Jesus showed them again and again just how deep and wide his love for them went. They were confident because they knew Jesus' heart. And they only way the discovered Jesus' true character was because they spent day after day with him. They walked, they talked, the learned, they questioned, they ate together, fellowship together in times of joy and sorrow.

I think about my ministry. When I try to reach out to others on my own abilities, I might be able to help some but I am a broken person, my motives are not pure. No amount of training or discipline will change that, I just may be able to fake it better. In 2 Chronicles 12:14 (NASB) "He did evil because he did not set his heart to seek the Lord" It doesn't say he did evil because he was bad or because he desired evil. He did it because he wasn't first seeking God. God is good, His will is perfect. If we don't seek Him how will we know what is good? We may stumble upon it from time to time but we can do the right thing with completely selfish motives.

When Jesus was about to go die on the cross and leave the disciples, He told them that it was good He was leaving because when He left then the disciples would receive the Holy Spirit. John 16:7 (NASB) "But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away the Helper will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you." No longer would only a few be able to know Jesus intimately, anyone who loved God and sought His will would be filled with the Holy Spirit and be able to fellowship with Him at any place or time.

I want so badly for my confidence to flow out from a deep friendship I have with God. These last few months it has been such a blessing as I have been able to have time alone with God on an almost daily basis. The one-on-one time is great but we also much be with Him together. If you have a friend, don't you introduce them to your other friends? Or if they already know each other won't you all go out and do things together? The sweet thing about Church is it's a room full of people who love Him! We get to come together and talk about how we love Him, how He loves us. Encouraging each other to spend more time with Him and get to know Him even more!

My relationship with Jesus is so far from what I desire it to be. I hope someday that when anything happens in my life, good or bad, that He is the first one I desire to share with. That I pray without ceasing i.e. that I remember that I am in His presence constantly and therefore talk with Him as I would my best friend, that He become my best friend. I look forward to spending time with Him, to learning more about His character. It has been a sweet journey and this is only the beginning, what exciting times there are to come!

Three circles

Our campus director Mark shared about this idea of three circles, one representing "my world" meaning the Christian world. In this circle would be things like going to Church on Sunday, worshiping through song and prayer, quiet times etc. The next circle is "our world" this circle is things that both Christians and non Christians enjoy such at going out to eat, movies, reading, sports and so on. The final circle is "their world" this is things non Christians do that make Christians uncomfortable like going out to bars and parties, drinking and swearing.

So often as Christians we meet non Christians in "our world" we meet friends and interact with them here. But eventually we try to draw non Christians into "my world" we invite them to church where there is worshipping and prayer. It is a place where they are uncomfortable, they don't know what to expect and are unsure of what is expected of them.

When we look to Jesus, we more often see him going into "their world" He walked into places most Christians would be scared to. As Christians we often make others bear the burden of being uncomfortable, we invite them into "my world" where they are unfamiliar because we for us it is so normal we don't even think about helping them understand it all. But we see Jesus going to the tax collectors home, eating among men that the Jews of that day would never consider ever being friends with. As Christians we are called to love, if we love people then we should be willing to bear the burden of being uncomfortable. God is not confined to a church building, He is everywhere. We can share His love any place. And I personally feel more loved by someone when they come to me, when they serve me where I am at.

Consider it this way, my cousin recently had a new baby boy. He has been a joy and her church family contacted her and has created a meal plan where people take meals to her. What a blessing! But imagine if instead no one contacted her expecting her to ask for help if she needed it. Or if they contacted her and gave her a list of names to ask meals from, or told her to come to the church to pick them up. She wouldn't feel as served. In fact it might even end up feeling like a burden. But why? I mean people are still making meals for her. They are still serving and even loving. But the thing is they are not coming out of their comfort zones, they are expecting the new mother to come to where they are.

I recently signed up to make a meal for an older lady who just came home from the hospital. The cooking for me was a joy. I love cooking. The delivery of the food was terrifying. I am shy by nature, I worry way to much about how people view me. And my home is my safe place, it's much easier to invite someone over then to go to their home. But, with God's encouragement, I went to her home, I gave her a meal, I sat in her living room, and had a good conversation with her. She felt more loved by me coming to her home, coming out of my way to serve her and love her. Our short conversations at church could never be as personal as was the one in her living room. I took an hour of my day, was uncomfortable for awhile and then walked away feeling loved and feeling blessed.

No it's not easy. And there will be times where it will be embarrassing and maybe painful. But deep and meaningful relationships can start to grow. Most Christians you talk to will probably say their first experiences with God where not inside church walls, God didn't wait for them to show up Sunday morning, He showed His love to them where they were. Even now, most of my deepest interactions with God are at my home, or with my family, the church is wonderful but it is not our medium to God, Jesus did that and now the Holy Spirit resides in us so we can constantly be in contact with God.

I urge you, Share with people, use what God has done in your life to share, explain how you read your bible in the morning to grow closer to God, and share a question you had about the verses you read that morning. Or what you learned. Explain why we do the things we do, why we go to church and seek fellowship, why we sing and raise our hands, why we love. 1 John 4:19 "We love because He first loved us" (NASB) embrace that promise. God loves you, even if you never do another thing in your life for Him, He loves you. When Jesus was baptized God expressed His love and pride for His son.... at this time Jesus had not even started His ministry. God loves you.

The Message
1 John 4:17-21 "God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we're free of worry on Judgement Day - our standing in the world is identical with Christ's. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life - fear of death, fear of judgement - is one not fully formed in love. We, though, are going to love - love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first. If anyone boasts, "I love God," and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won't love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can't see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You've got to love both.