Lonely

Its been a long few weeks with TONS of overtime, this week though I think I should be back to all 8 hour days (enough of this 12 hour crazyness). Bla with me working so much Tom and I hardly cross paths in the beginning of the week, me having to get to work at 6am (meaning a before 5 am wake up) and him working till 8 or 9. I'm just so grateful that it's done and it went well. The grand opening turned out great, and training is going well. I somehow managed to pull off two jobs at once.... ok I know how God blessed me SO much by giving me a great scan coordinator to train and tons of other amazing people who helped me pull it off. We had tons of great people who had lots of great things to say about us..... we also had some bad tomatoes..... well a guy stole a tomato, before store hours, and a few complainers. Nobody is perfect and they definitly let us know where we were flawed... at least in their books. And I don't know what is hard to understand about "put it in the box" I had more people asking where to put their entry forms as I stood literally right next to it (actually a little behind it) and it had signs and balloons, I'm not sure what people were expecting..... something bigger I suppose.

With my odd hours it has been common for when I am home, I am alone. Its weird how you can feel so lonely after being surrounded by people all day. Of course all that talking was questions and instructions, not much personal, emotional talk. I have been having weird dreams and missing my grandma so much more then I thought I would. I don't know if I mentioned in my last post but my mom, Doreen and I were out to lunch and mom was talking to her some about my grandma's final days and how it was so hard to watch her slowly deteroate. She mentioned how she realized a while before my wedding that my grandma wouldnt be able to go. My mom stopped mentioning wedding stuff around my grandma unless asked. Well about two weeks after my wedding my grandma said to my mom "I missed Nicole's wedding didnt I" and when my mom told her yes, she cried. I had never heard that and almost lost it when I heard it, now as I write it I can't help but cry. I miss her and I wish her end could have been different. I remember growing up she would stay one night a week with us, in my room, I would read aloud to her until she stopped correcting me because she feel asleep. She loved to swim and many nights we would go to a local hotel to swim. More recently I remember her showing my cousin and I her old college yearbook and a picture of her and a group of friends, they had invented a club to get a picture in the yearbook..... and if the dean knew what the initials of the club stood for, he would have never allowed it to be in there. Sorry to go off, this has been one of the hardest years of my life, there was a few weeks that each week I heard of another person I knew who passed away. One day my dad had to leave right after my great uncles funeral to go to a longtime friend and business associates funeral. Perhaps I am still morning them all and everything else that has been going on. I can only thank God that he blessed me to find Tom, I don't know what I would have done without his arms to fall into.

At least the stress and responsibility of work will be shrinking some. Next month our office manager is going out of town for 3 weeks and I will be picking up some of her duties for that time but it shouldnt be anything too huge.

lol so I meant to make a short and light post but where better to vent all your emotions then online right? Expecially when the only other living thing in the house is kitty cats, well and if you want to count the bamboo, it's still hanging on, but forget about the spidar plant and funky catus. The new scan coordinator told me I will teach her what she needs to know and she will teach me how to not kill a plant. I'm training her for one of the hardest jobs at the store (the other being store manager) but I still think she will have the harder job of teaching me to keep a plant alive. Oh and Tom finds it cool that I am training her because she is currently running for honorary mayor of a local town, he said if she wins I can say "I trained the mayor!" But truley she is such a blessing, and training has been going great. She went to my alma mater and her daughters are currently attending, kind of fun.

Anyways I babble. I guess I'm going to bore you all since I have no one else too..... he he. I have the CUTEST nephew. And saturday I get to baby sit! He is such a ham, he winked at me the other day..... well he closed one eye at me and I thought something was wrong with it then realized and asked him if he was winking and he did his smile and giggle that reminds me so much of his mama, adorable. He is just growing up too fast.

ok enough chattering. feeling better now that I talked about my adorable nephew. :)