yes that is my ipods name, I had not thought about it for awhile until today when I connected it to my computer.
Today was full of assorted odd jobs one of which was painting a bookshelf (we already have 3 in our tiny place but still needed another, luckly we had friends who gave us one). And the sad thing is even with four bookshelves I still have 3 boxes of books that I am going to try to sell and give away. Tom had a bunch of books at work that now are at home. Too bookworms in a house is not a good thing.
We are officially out of our old place (yay). Just waiting to get most of our deposit back and getting settled in our new place. Its looking pretty good, still lots of stuff needing to find a home or be given away. It has definitly been tough for me and reminded me that I am way to materialistic. I knew I was but God has been working on me. I just always can forsee a need and for many things I know I will need it again later so why not keep it and not have to buy one later. But its tough when you have no where to put it.
I'm still struggling over the fact that we no longer have an extra bed for guest. And I had been spoiled with a huge kitchen at my old place, so still adjusting to needing a stepstool every time I cook. But the thing is this is temporary and we are so blessed that we get to live here. When I think about how we will be working with students soon I get so excited. And while our house is small we have a large parking area so we have a picnic table, it will be great for BBQs. I need to focus on the good and remember that all of this is God's and if He decides to take it all away who am I to get upset? ITS HIS! I'm lucky to have what I do and look forward to getting to share it college students and friends.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Musings from my quiet time yesterday
Jeremiah 7:4 "Do not trust in deceptive words saying 'this is the temple of the Lord, this is the temple of the Lord, this is the temple of the Lord"
At that time the people thought God wouldnt destory Jerusalem because of His temple being there. I think people get caught up with that at the church or in missions as well. We think God called us to do this or God provided for this. Or that there is good coming from these things so He wouldnt destroy it. But God's plans are so much bigger than ours. He did destroy Jersualem because the people were evil doers and just because good is coming from a ministry doesnt mean God won't destroy that either. God has a bigger and better plan than ours, we cannot understand but we need to realize even our ministry isnt safe if we are not following God's will. We can do as much good as we want in the world but if its not for Jesus and we are not sharing with people about His love offering, well then all our acts of kindness are nothing. The pleasures and joys of this earth are tempory, the only things that last are God's plans, we can choose to be a part of them or not.
But we have to realize that what God wants is what will be and what He is good. So if He sees fit to tear something down or build something up then we much accept His will. It was hard for Tom to leave the church. That is where he had learned everything he knows about ministry. We loved the people, and the youth he got to serve but God had something else for us. It is scary but its amazing to watch and He forms our ministry from a place we never thought to look. He placed an image of a hand forming a foundation out of dust, out of nothing. I feel so blessed to be a part of this which He has created.
I mean if you asked me if I ever thought I would be a part of a ministry I would have said I know my husband will be and I plan on playing a small behind the scenes roll. But Gods plans are not our own and I watch in amazement and wonder as God is placing us into a ministry will be as much my ministry as my husband, it will be us side by side. And also I am in awe and wonder as I feel a passion and joy for ministry grow in me. I don't even know what it looks like but I'm so excited for it. And in the past months I cannot even begin to explain the growth that has gone on in my life. I still see all the places I lack which are huge but I am reminded by God that my lackings need to be large so that He can fully show His glory to me and others.
Someone told me once that they would rather fly on a big plane then on a small one because if its going down there are more people praying out to God for help in the large plane. I thought it such a sad statement. We think if we go to Church on Sunday and do some good acts we will be saved. Or if we say we believe there is a God. The demons know there is a God, its not saving them. Its about loving God, and loving Him so much that we want to please Him through our actions. Our actions do not save us. Or love of God is the important part.
So many do not understand. They see Christianity as a list of things to check off. And many say, well I'm better than that person. Its not about being "better" its about realizing we will never be good enough. That it's because of Gods grace and Jesus' gift that we can be saved.
Luke 18:10-14
10"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11The Pharisee stood up and prayed about[a] himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
13"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
14"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted
At that time the people thought God wouldnt destory Jerusalem because of His temple being there. I think people get caught up with that at the church or in missions as well. We think God called us to do this or God provided for this. Or that there is good coming from these things so He wouldnt destroy it. But God's plans are so much bigger than ours. He did destroy Jersualem because the people were evil doers and just because good is coming from a ministry doesnt mean God won't destroy that either. God has a bigger and better plan than ours, we cannot understand but we need to realize even our ministry isnt safe if we are not following God's will. We can do as much good as we want in the world but if its not for Jesus and we are not sharing with people about His love offering, well then all our acts of kindness are nothing. The pleasures and joys of this earth are tempory, the only things that last are God's plans, we can choose to be a part of them or not.
But we have to realize that what God wants is what will be and what He is good. So if He sees fit to tear something down or build something up then we much accept His will. It was hard for Tom to leave the church. That is where he had learned everything he knows about ministry. We loved the people, and the youth he got to serve but God had something else for us. It is scary but its amazing to watch and He forms our ministry from a place we never thought to look. He placed an image of a hand forming a foundation out of dust, out of nothing. I feel so blessed to be a part of this which He has created.
I mean if you asked me if I ever thought I would be a part of a ministry I would have said I know my husband will be and I plan on playing a small behind the scenes roll. But Gods plans are not our own and I watch in amazement and wonder as God is placing us into a ministry will be as much my ministry as my husband, it will be us side by side. And also I am in awe and wonder as I feel a passion and joy for ministry grow in me. I don't even know what it looks like but I'm so excited for it. And in the past months I cannot even begin to explain the growth that has gone on in my life. I still see all the places I lack which are huge but I am reminded by God that my lackings need to be large so that He can fully show His glory to me and others.
Someone told me once that they would rather fly on a big plane then on a small one because if its going down there are more people praying out to God for help in the large plane. I thought it such a sad statement. We think if we go to Church on Sunday and do some good acts we will be saved. Or if we say we believe there is a God. The demons know there is a God, its not saving them. Its about loving God, and loving Him so much that we want to please Him through our actions. Our actions do not save us. Or love of God is the important part.
So many do not understand. They see Christianity as a list of things to check off. And many say, well I'm better than that person. Its not about being "better" its about realizing we will never be good enough. That it's because of Gods grace and Jesus' gift that we can be saved.
Luke 18:10-14
10"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11The Pharisee stood up and prayed about[a] himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
13"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
14"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
God's Gifts
I had a wonderful quiet time today. Lately I have been feeling down. Tom hasn't had a paycheck since December and though at first our fundraising was really trucking it has slowed down and its scary to watch your savings slowly drop. I start training my replacement soon and we a praying for at least being at 75% of our funding so we can start getting a paycheck. But even in the trials God is good and even in this short time I have seen Him working in me and already doing such amazing things. I feel so blessed that He even thinks I am worth is.
A little over a year ago my grandma had a stroke and for months we watched her slowly deteriorate. It was so hard to watch and we were glad when God finally took her home and removed her suffering. But ever since when I thought of her, I saw her as she was in those last days, and my heart broke and I would cry and cry for her pain. I tried to remember her before the stroke and it was so hard to ignore the images of later. For a year I had struggled with it and then on Easter Sunday, I was singing in church and God placed an image so perfect in my head. It was my grandma, she was chuckling and smiling, enjoying the service, agreeing with our words of worship and her face was full of peace. Peace that I never saw on her face in this lifetime. I hadn't asked God for such an amazing gift. Wouldn't have even known how to start but the Holy Spirit understood the groaning of my soul. I uttered probably one of my most heart felt prayers and it wasn't some fancy prayer or even with many words. I just bowed my head and prayed "thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you so much God" it was all I could say but He knew my heart.
It was something I held around myself like a warm blanket. I didn't even share it for awhile. I just enjoyed God's gift. Then at bible study we were talking about what worship is and what it looks like. God reminded me of another time He had given me a gift. After my uncle had died 10 years ago God had given me a clear vision of my uncle sitting on steps, surrounded by children. He was playing his guitar and they were worshipping God. I remember my grandma a year or two before she died has said how glad she was that I had shared that. I thanked God again for His gifts.
Then He showed me something I had not noticed. Both my vision of my uncle and the vision of my grandma showed them worshipping Him in their own ways. After they had passed away I would say things to myself about how they were with family and friends now in heaven. But God showed me yes that is good and true but their TRUE joy was from being in HIS presence. Their peace and joy was from worshiping God. I feel like God has wrapped me in His arms in this hard time. I am so blessed to be His child. I think of the verse when Jesus was baptized and God says "this is My son, with Him I am well pleased" and I think wow I am His child, and if that is all I ever am what a joy and blessing and more than enough. He loves me which is amazing and I want to live my life so when I get to heaven He will look at me and call me His child and because of the life I have led loving Him that He will be able to say that He is pleased with me.
A little over a year ago my grandma had a stroke and for months we watched her slowly deteriorate. It was so hard to watch and we were glad when God finally took her home and removed her suffering. But ever since when I thought of her, I saw her as she was in those last days, and my heart broke and I would cry and cry for her pain. I tried to remember her before the stroke and it was so hard to ignore the images of later. For a year I had struggled with it and then on Easter Sunday, I was singing in church and God placed an image so perfect in my head. It was my grandma, she was chuckling and smiling, enjoying the service, agreeing with our words of worship and her face was full of peace. Peace that I never saw on her face in this lifetime. I hadn't asked God for such an amazing gift. Wouldn't have even known how to start but the Holy Spirit understood the groaning of my soul. I uttered probably one of my most heart felt prayers and it wasn't some fancy prayer or even with many words. I just bowed my head and prayed "thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you so much God" it was all I could say but He knew my heart.
It was something I held around myself like a warm blanket. I didn't even share it for awhile. I just enjoyed God's gift. Then at bible study we were talking about what worship is and what it looks like. God reminded me of another time He had given me a gift. After my uncle had died 10 years ago God had given me a clear vision of my uncle sitting on steps, surrounded by children. He was playing his guitar and they were worshipping God. I remember my grandma a year or two before she died has said how glad she was that I had shared that. I thanked God again for His gifts.
Then He showed me something I had not noticed. Both my vision of my uncle and the vision of my grandma showed them worshipping Him in their own ways. After they had passed away I would say things to myself about how they were with family and friends now in heaven. But God showed me yes that is good and true but their TRUE joy was from being in HIS presence. Their peace and joy was from worshiping God. I feel like God has wrapped me in His arms in this hard time. I am so blessed to be His child. I think of the verse when Jesus was baptized and God says "this is My son, with Him I am well pleased" and I think wow I am His child, and if that is all I ever am what a joy and blessing and more than enough. He loves me which is amazing and I want to live my life so when I get to heaven He will look at me and call me His child and because of the life I have led loving Him that He will be able to say that He is pleased with me.
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