What I'm called to

I have had a rough month, to put it lightly. One week in particular I was so disheartened and beat down, I cried at least twice every day. At the end of the week I met up with Barb, my friend (her and her husband are the Campus Directors for Navigators at Cal Poly). As I shared all the things I was going through and all the things happening she listened and encouraged me. We talked and I shared about what I have been learning from God these last few months as we have been fundraising and trying to get onto campus.

Some of the issues have been on the "job" side of life which definitely didn't help with the more personal issues. Firstly the funds did not come in as quickly as we had hoped. We had originally hoped to get on campus before the students went home for summer.... we are still fundraising. Which has been frustrating. Adding too it is I had to go back to work. A girl left and we were unsure if she was coming back but now we know she is not which means we will have to hire and train someone which could take months.

I have felt torn on it. I exclaimed to God, "but wait, we are so close to going onto campus, to what You called me to! Why would you tie me up at the store for an indefinite amount of time?" And He has responded telling me that I said I wanted to serve people, I wanted to help them and help carry their burden.... what would happen if I didn't help out with this job? I thought about it and realized there would be multiple people working over time, being exhausted and away from their families. How can I even begin to guess as to what God has called me to?

I'm not saying I'm not frustrated by the situation, I am, intensely. I am tired, I am sore, I have to go to bed ridiculously early if I want to get enough sleep. A week before Tom and I talked about adjusting our sleeping schedule so we would be able to stay up late with the students (yes we are getting old). School starts the 22nd and I have no idea how I am going to do both jobs... but I feel God has called me to this. Man that's even hard to type out, I'm praying hard that God brings someone soon, that they learn quick and do a great job so I can get back to "what I am called to" but while I am here I am going to do what I am called to, loving those around me, helping where I can, being slow to anger an hopefully giving a glimpse of Jesus to those around me.

God, help me do what pleases you, even when I am beat down and tired. Even when I feel like its not what I was called to do. Even when it is early and I just want to give the evil eye to everyone. Give me patience.