Everywhere

A friend of ours started a book club for all of us book lovers. We are reading through the 25 Books Every Christian Should Read list. Being the future minded person he is, he mapped out reading the whole list with us meeting once a month, it should take about 9 years. I have been so excited to join it, I love reading and the books on the list are ones I would enjoy but need that extra push to do it. The first book we read is On The Incarnation by St. Athanasius. I have enjoyed it so much, here is a quote that has stuck with me

"Human and human minded as men were, therefore, to whichever side they looked in the sensible world they found themselves taught the truth. Were they awe-stricken by creation? They beheld it confessing Christ as Lord. Did their minds tend to regard men as Gods? The uniqueness of the Savior's works marked Him, alone of men, as Son of God. Were they drawn to evil spirits? They saw them driven out by the Lord and learned that the Word of God alone was God and that the evil spirits were not gods at all. Were they inclined to hero-worship and the cult of the dead? Then the fact that the Savior had risen from the dead showed them how false these other deities were, and that the Word of the Father is the one true Lord, the Lord even of death. For this reason was He both born and manifested as Man, for this He died and rose, in order that, eclipsing by His works all other human deeds, He might recall men from all the paths of error to know the Father. As He says Himself, 'I came to seek and to save that which was lost.'" St. Athanasius On the Incarnation

This quote hit me, and ever since reading it God keeps bringing it to mind. The first image that came to my mind was being a student in school. There are so many ways people learn but unfortunately schools usually only teach one way. If you don't learn that way, tough, you have to figure out how to understand it, it's up to you. Many struggle with this, it's the kid who you have talked to and you know they are smart, the way they creatively view the world and yet struggle to maintain a c average. The way the school system works, just doesn't work for them.

I think many of us think of the gospel in the same way. God loves us and died for us because we are sinners, all true but someone who thinks they are a good person are not going to be won over to God by this statement. But there is some aspect of who God is and His story that will. Our staff team lead a workshop recently at the Navigators National conference, we talked about each of our unique stories and also our unique brokenness.

I personally struggle with being shy, to someone who doesn't have that struggle, they in no way understand how hard it is for me to enter in to a new situation. Someone who is not shy will often tell a shy person to "suck it up", "its not so bad" and other such comments because for them, it's not a struggle. However there are things that are hard for them, maybe they hate being alone in silence. Or maybe they care so much about others opinions of them they spend an hour every day fixing their make up. I don't know what your struggle is, I can't always sympathize. But God can.

God is in control, He made the world and it's all in His hands, He did this so we can take our Sabbath rest. We can rest knowing He is still at the wheel, He is still working it all for His good. God is perfect so we don't have to be, He is working the change in us, forming us to be more in His image. He is the healer, He is the savior, He is the sacrifice, He is the conqueror of death. We can work and try all we won't but He is the one who can do all these things, He is in control. All God asks of us is to just rest in His presence. Such an easy thing and yet we fight it at every turn.

Whatever your struggle, whatever earthly thing you turn to and worship instead of God, bring it before Him because He has something so much better to fill that spot.

Recently I had wondered over my strong like for the Harry Potter books (yes I am a nerd). I would think over the stories, have read the books numerous times and every time I see the movie want to read them again. I asked myself, why do I obsess so much? What is going on here? Recently I have realized I am drawn to those stories because of the gospel message in it. No they are not written for that purpose but that doesn't mean God won't use it to reach me. This may seem silly to you or not make sense. But there are gospel themes all around us. Harry Potter is about a boy who's mother loved him so much that she sacrificed her life to save him. A boy who again and again puts his life in danger for his friends, for his community. In case you haven't read it, I don't want to give to much away but again and again in the books there is the idea of death for a friend, life after death, sacrifice, redemption because of love and so on. If you want ask me about it, I'm more then willing to talk about it.

It's not just movies, you can find the gospel in books, movies, music and in your own life stories.

I apologize if I'm rambling, I hope this makes some sense, feel free to talk to me or ask me questions. This has been a topic our staff has been talking about and I have been thinking about for awhile. God is present, He wants to reach you right where you are at. No one is outside His reach. God made us each unique individuals, there are no surprises for Him. We just need to slow down and sit in God's presence, you will be surprised what He use to teach you about Himself.

"For the Lord touched all parts of creation, and freed and undeceived them all from every deceit. As St. Paul says, 'Having put off from Himself the principalities and the powers, He triumphed on the cross,' so that no one could possibly be any longer deceived, but everywhere might find the very Word of God."

I'm too small for this

"I'm too small for this"
That's what I thought last night as I was holding my big baby boy. For some reason not that I'm too young for this. Though it does feel odd being a mom, I don't feel to young. It seems more odd that I'm getting so old. My grey hair is coming in (thanks for those genes mom) and so are the wrinkles. But it's not the age, it's the size. At his last Doctors appointment Micah was 29 inches, which means he is probably more than that by now. Which also means he is almost half my length. (5'2 = 62 inches). I'm feeling smaller every day.

The last few days Micah has had a stuffy noise and like his mama he likes to be cuddled, but also like his mama he's a bit of a wiggle worm. Nursing him felt like I was wrestling a bear, changing diapers is like hog tying a cow. Snuggling is like trying to hold an eel.... with a really hard head that often bangs into you. And in every situation there's the teeth and claws. Which has made me realize parenthood is like caring for a wild animal. You never know if its going to be nice or going to bite. You have to keep a watchful eye.

So as I attempted to snuggle Micah to get him to sleep and thought about how big he is now, as he flailed about it, made me think how much easier it was when he was little, and how much easier it could be if only I had another arm.... then as if he read my mind, in came my knight in shining armor in the form of my handsome husband in his pjs. I'm so glad I have someone to help care for the wild animal.

Fun at our house

This summer Tom and I decided to open our home on a weekly basis to all the Nav students to eat dinner, play games and watch movies. I enjoy opening our home. One of my "spiritual gifts" is hospitality. A gift I think was influenced by my mom. Growing up my mom opened our home and we had many cousins and friends that lived with us at different times. After school, we hung out at my house. The school drama party and end of the year sports parties continued to be there even after I was no longer in school. When my parents built their house, they purposely made it large with lots of rooms to be able to accommodate folks. Even now, with both my brother and I moved out, they have two college students living with them and my aunt and uncle off and on. In addition to this they have opened their home to Nav staff retreats and events. It's clear where my joy of hospitality comes from.  

Sometimes I find it odd. I am an extreme introvert. I need my alone time. I use to write into my calender hours or even days where I would get away from everyone. But I have found that I have adjusted. Growing up in a home of lots of extraverts I thought I was a grumpy person. After moving out and not having others follow me from room to room and watch over my shoulder as I checked my email I realized that I and not just a grump, I was depleted and because of that, I was grumpy. I now know I need downtime (alone time) to regenerate. As long as I am careful about getting rest and downtime, I really enjoy being with people, especially having people over to our home. 

I'm so glad, and realize how blessed we are that we have a home that we can invite others over too. That we can provide a meal to enjoy together. That community and fellowship can develop all the time we are having fun at our house. Pray that our home can be a safe haven for our students that need it. That real friendships grow and bless.

The World

This morning I was reading a friends blog telling of her experience over seas. She is with an organization called One Acre Fund and my cousin will soon be leading a team to the Village of Hope in Uganda. Other friends are in or recently returned from other countries all over the world. It brings me joy that their hearts burn for people. That they want to help those with physical and/or spiritual hunger. It's so exciting, I'm so glad there are people with a heart for that and that they joyfully and bravely do it. My prayers are with you dear friends.

I have an army

I have an army of prayer warriors. Friends and family who at an email, facebook message, text or call mobilize, their hearts bow in prayer to God. What an amazing thing. Tonight I sent out a prayer request to some of my prayer warriors. Earlier this year Christina graduated, got engaged and was diagnosed with stomach cancer. You can read more about her story here.

It's comforting to know that I am not alone in lifting up my friend in prayer. And within minutes of sending out a note I had friends already telling me they were in prayer. Praise God, and thank you Lord for you church (not necessarily the physical place but the group of believers seeking Him). I am encouraged, blessed, loved well by them, by you! There is power that we cannot even comprehend when we pray together. I rejoice in my friends prayers and the Holy Spirit praying on my behalf when I don't even know how. "Not as I will, but as You will."

Micah's first Easter

 This year it was Micah's first Easter. What a difference a year makes! Last year I was starting to show a bit. Though if you didn't know I was pregnant you would just think I had enjoyed to many cadbury eggs. This year I have a 7 1/2 month old! Here are a few photos and highlights from the day

This is Micah at the end of church service, he napped for the whole thing. But between that and the cry room being pretty empty I actually got to listen to the service!

Our good friends were in town visiting and felt called to be baptized! They will have their first baby later this year! It was so cool to get to see it (this was before i went to the cry room) and pray for them. What a good start to Easter

This is our friends and their sweet daughter, she is a month and one day younger than Micah.

The family

He's such a funny boy

Total creep status, that's my uncle, Micah's face is what I am feeling, I'm just better at hiding it! He came out to hand out Easter baskets. I guess this is Micah's first photo with the the Easter bunny

He's a very happy boy

The eggs were a bit to big for him to grab, I held it to help him and apparently he thought I would feed it to him

He likes being upside-down

Micah's favorite part of the day, the dogs. One dog was quick enough to lick him in the face and he just cracked up

Always loves time with daddy

I always like holidays, spending time with family and good food, whats not to like? This year was no exception. We also had some friends, my nephew and his friend had a blast hunting eggs in my parents huge backyard and swimming. Some others played some basketball. And some of use just ate.... well we also were entertaining Micah, someones got to do it ;) Hope you had a great Easter and had some time to reflect on what the day is all about. He has risen and we are blessed by that daily, in more ways then we can possibly understand. Thank you Lord!

New Quarter

Tomorrow Cal Poly students will be returning to campus after a week of Spring break. This means our schedules area again up in the air until we find out when students are free to meet. Each quarter things change. And quarters being as short as you are, it seems like you have just adjusted to your schedule when it ends and you have to do it all over again. But on the plus side, if your schedule isn't a good one, you know it will be over soon. Last quarter almost all the guys Tom meet with could only meet on Monday.

Monday's are usually our break after weekend trips with students, or trainings. Most weekends are full one way or another. So besides trying to get some rest, unpacking, laundry, and groceries Monday is also generally our admin day. Printing, inputting, sending reports, all the behind the scenes stuff you don't thing about or see. But this past quarter Tom was trying to meet with these men too. It made it rather a stressful day. But tomorrow is a new quarter, already Tom has nailed down some times with some of the guys he meets with on a weekly basis and it already looks better than last quarter.

I've been reviewing my schedule again, always trying to be mindful of not over committing. I think I realized last quarter that I was thinking of myself as a stay-at-home mom since Micah is always with me. I wasn't looking at the fact that while he is always with me, I am also training, meeting with girls, attending student gatherings, admin, traveling for all our trainings and regional stuff. So yes, I am a stay-at-home mom but I am also a full time working mom too. I think I too often forget to give myself grace in that.

It has been a huge blessing to be able to have Micah with me and work. I love getting to see him every day, to see all the small changes, and not miss anything. And I enjoy the working part, getting to know the students, assist Tom and other staff with different admin things. I just have to remember that I am doing two jobs and to allow myself time for rest.

If you are on our Prayer and Support page on facebook then you received my message about what our staff has/is praying for for 40 days. As I have been praying about it, I have been looking ahead to next year. The woman I currently am meeting with is a senior, she will be leaving, and with Micah, I get to meet a lot of the students but not really spend a lot of relational time with them in their homes and with their friends. I don't know what next year looks like. I have talked to God, and wondered aloud, is my ministry moving more towards other moms? Or is it perhaps our two Edge girls on our staff team. Or will God work in a way that I cannot see at this point to bring me in contact with students? I don't know what this quarter holds, I don't know what the summer will bring and I don't know what next year will look like. To often I try to figure it out on my own. I want to break that trend, I want to look to God, to wait patiently on Him and His plan.

My friend I were reading a passage and we were struck by the fact that the word wait and rest were interchangeable. In one translation it said one, in another, the other. When I think of waiting, I think of lines, of stress. But God wants to show us that when we wait on Him, it's not stressful, we know that the wait will be just as long as it should be, that what He does and has planned will be just as it should be. It will be perfect. We can rest in our waiting because we have a Father we can trust in.

Pray for whoever He chooses to bring into my life (or who are already here). That I will see those people and love them well. Pray for me to wait, to rest, to trust in God.